I Can't Lie to You....

I was going to be avoid-y, and not post today. But after some deep thought on the matter, I can't lie to you ladies. You're all so honest that I feel like it's missing the point of the whole blogging community if I am not honest as well.

So this morning my weight was at 236.8 (well, it was 237.8, then 236.8, then 237.4....I waited a bit in between each weigh, and got each number twice in a row. I'm obviously sticking with the lowest here.)

"But, Liz...you were having such a good couple of days! This must be one of those unexplicible gains!" Errr...not quite. I WAS having a great few days. Tracking, exercise, water, vitamins...the whole 9.

Somewhere around 11pm last night, it all fell apart. First I ate a pepperoni/fresh mozz/pepper/onion salad I had in the fridge (lunch size portion). Then I ate about 3oz of asiago, and about 9 pita crackers from TJ. THEN, I made a sundae. A FREAKING SUNDAE?!?! Waffle bowl, 6 tbsp of vanilla ice cream, about 2-3 tbsp caramel syrup, sea salt and 2-3 tbsp magic shell (btw, this is a rip off of a cone from my fave ice cream truck in NYC....amazing!). THEN I ate another waffle bowl.

Was I hungry? No. Not in the slightest. Why I was compelled to eat these things....I could not tell you. I was all set to have a great weigh in. Then I wrecked it. Each of these things by themselves wouldn't have been terrible. They just weren't allotted for in the day, and definitely shouldn't have been eaten TOGETHER. As I was eating them, I knew I was sabotaging myself. I just couldn't tell you why. Sigh.

Whew. I feel better. So far so good today. Chai at 10ish, peach Chobani at 11:30ish, and I have chili packed for lunch. I'll eat that whenever I get hungry, maybe around 2 or so. I am almost 2L of water down for the day and will get another in before I leave work. I'm walking home from work (about a mile and a half, which will take about 30 minutes, so a 3mph pace). My dinner is planned and waiting in the fridge. I don't think I will work tonight, so hopefully I can keep myself out of the damn kitchen after dinner, other than for planned snacks. If I don't work, I'll most likely do laundry and clean my apartment, which should keep me busy and burn some calories (although I won't count it).

Tickers will be updated as soon as I post this entry, and then I am moving forward. I think I did the math wrong on my goal - it was actually 16 weigh ins 'til the cruise, not 18. Which means I am down to 15...and I now have to average 2.46lb per week to meet the goal. Pretty aggressive, but do-able if I get off my butt.

Today was a good day!

I am so proud of myself today...I was such a good little bandster!

*I drank 4 liters of water
*I took my vitamins for the 6th day in a row
*I tracked everything that I put into my mouth (even the teeny tiny bites of this n that).
*I got in 95 grams of protein.
*I made the conscious decision to not eat something because I couldn't figure out the conversions to input the recipe.

and this is the big one....

I WENT TO THE GYM. You read that right...me....the exercise avoider...went to the gym.

The bottom line is that I have been hovering around 235 for three and a half freaking months now. I didn't have surgery, and make this huge change to my life, to get stuck here. I thought I could be slick, and outsmart the system, and continue to be lazy. Up until now, I've been half-assing it, and letting the band do all of the work. As we all know, that's not how this works. So it's time to take my thumb out of my ass, and get to work.

I've set a new goal for myself. I want to be under 200 by the time I leave for the cruise. That's 18 weigh ins away. I have 35 pounds to go. I can lose 2 pounds per week. I just have to want it badly enough.

Bad Blogger, Mediocre Weigh-In, and Good Hair!!!

Blogger has been driving me bananas this week...I haven't been able to comment OR post. Hrpmf. There have a been a lot of really great blogs too! I was just able to leave a comment, so hopefully I will be able to go back and comments on other blogs too :)

Weigh in yesterday was whatever...234.4...up.2 from last week. I definitely can eat too too much. I'm nervous to get another fill, because I do get PB/slime fairly regularly...but I am pretty sure that's user error! I have an appt to see Dr. K on the 8th, so we'll see. Here's hoping I don't get yelled at for being the same weight I was at my last appt!!!

I also finally made an appt to have major bloodwork done...I've not been feeling well lately...lots of stomach pain, lots of fatigue, and some dizziness/swimmy vision. I wanted to find a new primary care doc, as the one I have seen for years is also the family doc, and I have some big concerns about the care she gave my dad. So I asked Dr. K for a recommendation, and really like the doc she referred me to. We met the other day, and she actually brought me to her office to get a history and TALK TO ME, and find out what my concerns were. Then we made an appt for me to do bloodwork, and THEN, once she has the results, we're going to do a full exam. Makes way more sense to me than the approach the last doc always took. Had my bloodwork done yesterday (and for the first time IN MY LIFE have no bruise), and will meet with the doc again on Wed for to a full physical. I think I definitely have a few vitamin deficiencies (D, B-12), and think I might be anemic. I also think I am a little depressed (understandably so), so I am going to see what the doc thinks about a mild anti-depressant for a few months.

I worked 18 days in a row...and I am so happy to say....I am off from about 1 this afternoon until Tuesday morning!!! That's three and a half days, you guys! How exciting! I started the long weekend off with a bang (not literally..altho that would have been nice...)...I got a haircut! This is a big deal for me...I hate getting my hair cut. I've had really long hair for the last decade or more...it was a big deal when I added bangs in about 2 years ago. I cut off ELEVEN INCHES. (And, as a bonus, I got to donate it to Locks of Love!) I am thrilled with it...I think it's way fun and kicky. And it's freeing!!! Here is a pic for your viewing pleasure:



Yay! I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend...I know I plan to!

234.2! Thank you, Scale Gods!

Whew....we're back in the right direction! I was very careful about my intake yesterday (for some reason, I do fine all week and then sabotage myself on Wednesday nights...) I think I need to mix up my eating a little bit...I've gotten bored with what I tend to rely heavily on. I'm also running out of my freezer stash, so I need to do a serious food shopping trip to re-stock!

Thanks for all of the tracking site suggestions...I've been playing around with MyFitnessPal...I don't think they have a BB app, but I am also flirting with the idea of switching to the iPhone.

I haven't been feeling well this week....intermittent stomach pain (not nausea), and bouts of dizziness. I think I have been stressed out and working too much. I am currently on Day 10 of 17 without a full day/night off. I need to stop accepting extra shifts at the club, but the money is so helpful. I've paid the cruise off, so once I get the flight booked, etc I can relax a little over the summer.

Tracking Advice

Hi my lovelies...

I need your advice/opinions/help, por favor. I think the time has come for me to start tracking (ugh). I've been relying too much on the band, thinking it'll do all the work for me, but that's just not the case.

I've seen SparkPeople, and it's ok...are there any other sites that people like for tracking (preferably free)? I have a BlackBerry (possibly changing over to iPhone later in the year) and would love to be able to track with an app if at all possible, but that's not a dealbreaker. I definitely need to be able to input my own recipes, since I do a lot of my own cooking.

I'm tired of being stuck at 235-ish. I've been hanging out here for 3 months now.

Oh, and my lazy, excuse-making butt did NOT go to Bikram this weekend. I'm considering going tonight...if I can get over the fear of the first class. I'll have to check the class load and see if it looks like I'll be able to get in.

Blogger is Back!

I have been so lost for the few days without Blogger...yikes! Maybe it was some twisted experiment to see how many of us freaked out. Maybe they were measuring how many "refreshes" there were. I know for me it was a LOT.

This week's weight was still up...237.4, but we were running around, going to dinner, lots going on. I love my brother, and am glad he came in for the week, but I am glad he went home. I can get back to my normal routine. Wednesday night, we went to a Yankee game, so of course there were sooo many yummy treats that didn't bode well for the weigh in. I got myself back on track, and this morning I did a "peek", to check in, and it was 235.8. Not great, but lower, which is always good.

Bikram is tomorrow!!!

237.2, and it's all my fault,,,

Yep. 237.2 was the official weigh in this morning. I am pissed...but only at myself. I was doing SO SO SO well, both with watching the scale drop all week after the fill, and with my intake yesterday (Sbux chai, 1 cup of pulled pork for lunch, 2 meatloaf muffins w gravy for dinner, 1/2 of an Isopure and 4L of water). I was on track to have a great weigh in. And then I freaking sabotaged myself.

So, as I've mentioned before, I work 2 jobs. The night job is waitressing at a comedy club (mostly drinks, but a little bit of food). Well last night, all was well....until around 10pm, when 2 tables at once ordered fries, and then 2 more ordered nachos. The fries smelled SOOOOOOOOOO good...they were all well done and perfect looking. The nachos were meh, but they were close at hand so I asked the bartender to make me a small bowl, and then I ate the entire thing. Ugh. I was so annoyed at myself afterward. Then, since I was feeling all failure-ish...I bought a cupcake on my way home and ate that before bed. Dammit.

So, late night eating + salt = gain/water retention/crappy official weigh in. Plus (and this might be TMI), I did not go #2 yesterday...lol.

Bleh. At least I recognize where I went wrong, and am back on track today. So far, chai and 1L of water down. I am going to Baja Fresh for lunch, not sure what I will get. 1 cup of chili for dinner, I'll bring the other half of the Isopure from last night to work, and I will prob finish the day at around 4L of water again.