Weekly Weigh-In and Tweak!

This week's weight was holding "strong" at 235.6, same as last week. I know it's because of the unfill, and Gaspar reassured me that he had a 1cc unfill once and gained 11 pounds in a week. I felt a bit better. So I decided I needed an emergency tweak, and went in yesterday for a bump of .25. Now I'm at 7.25cc...I was ok at 7.2cc, but had a little snackiness. Hopefully this brings me back to a good spot, and I can get back to losing.

I didn't REALLY start the pouch test yesterday - there was an unfortunate run in with birthday cake at work that killed that plan (it was soSOso good, tho...I will spare you the details..) I stuck to liquids after my fill yesterday (and even tried a new-to-me protein shake), and also mostly did them today, so I could probably count today as Day 1. Here's today's food:

2 liters of water (so far, will try to get in another liter before bed)
1 Campbell's Soup at Hand Chicken with Mini Noodles (noodles are teeny tiny rings, and I didn't see any actual chicken pieces)
1 Carnation Instant Breakfast w/ skim milk
1 venti skim chai

I'll have a cup of black bean soup for dinner in a few minutes (homemade), and another CIB later on tonight.

So far, I've already noticed that I am not having cravings...it's back to, "I'm not hungry, not hungry, not hungry...holy SHIT I'm starving!!!!" I am ok with that....I don't generally wait that long, but liquids are on the limiting side. It's also helping me get the candy thing under control...my new group at work are sugar freaks, and "require" me to have candy by my desk at all times. Of course....I've been eating it! I didn't have any of the M&Ms today, though.

I finally got some new bras...I stuck with LB for now, even though I am determined to not wear any of their clothes again (other than what I already own). I was wearing a 42DDD at the start of this, and that was really loose, so I tried 40DD and 40DDD, in a few different styles. The 40DDD is the one that fit the best (7 styles/sizes later). I am happy to report that the girls will be up high once more.

I'm off to eat my soup and watch the musical episode of Grey's. Hope everyone is having a great week!

One More Quick Question...

If you are doing the pouch test, can you drink alcohol? I am planning on starting it either Wed or Thurs, but am prob going to have drinks with a friend on Friday night. Nothing major, probably a few beers, but can have vodka or wine if that would suit better.

Thoughts?

Wine is Good...

especially when it goes on the corporate card...I tweeted that earlier...liked it so much I made it my FB status, and decided to make it my subject here ;-)

Random thoughts tonight, as I am a little buzzed. I am on a business trip, and had nothing better to do tonight in my hotel room, so I ordered 2 glasses of wine with my dinner (ate too much of the dinner, but surely did enjoy the wine!!!)

Snackies were much better under control today, but the whole weekend was out of control. I booked an emergency fill with Gaspar for Wednesday, and am going to do the 5 day pouch test after that. Need to get my ass back on track!!! Hopefully it'll take off the SEVEN pounds I've gained since my unfill.

My clothes are all starting to look kind of ridiculous. Very unflattering, since most of them are falling off of me. As we move into warmer weather, I have more options, but we are not quite there yet! I will soon be doing a "From My Rack to Yours" post. I suppose that's an NSV?

I also noticed when I got out of the shower that the dreaded hotel towel actually wrapped around me. I've always been the person who brings their own towels on vacation so that they can actually fit me...so this is a big one. (Not that I think I'll stop doing this...it's always nice to know you have a towel when staying in a room with 3 other girls!!!)

Well, that's enough buzzed rambling from me this evening...must climb into bed so I can actually be awake to catch the hotel shuttle to my company's location in beautiful Groton, CT at 8:15am. (That part actually isn't sarcasm, the area I'm in these 2 days is all along the water...very pretty. It's going on my list of places that I would consider moving to..)

I've Come to a Conclusion...

Y'all are great writers! Your personalities really shine through...and you're all funny, deep, sassy, goofy and just plain fantastic.

I consider myself all of those things too, and the people who know me best agree...but I am so damn formal when I write...and I think it makes me boring on here! How do I loosen up and get stoopid with you guys?!

I've also decided to branch out and share my other social networking stuff with you all (I can't pull off y'all more than once in a single blog...) I am definitely funnier and goofier on those!

Facebook - search Liz Faughnan (if you find the pic of the little tiny girl holding her daddy's hand, you've found me!) - if someone can remind me how to do a badge, I'll add it to my sidebar.

Twitter - LizfromtheBronx (little goofy musings...)

I don't discuss the band or weight loss in general on either of these platforms. Please do go ahead and add me, but I'll delete anything specific regarding those topics...I am trying to be a weight loss ninja!

*EDIT* - I should add that if you are easily offended by language....my Twitter might not be for you! I try to control myself on FB, bc my mom is on there as well...but Twitter is no holds barred...!

6 Months!

It's so hard to believe that I've been banded for 6 months! So much has changed....some good, some awful. So much HASN'T changed (yet?)...

I am down 40 pounds. That number could definitely be higher, but I am still so thrilled with it. This is the longest I have ever lasted on a weight loss "plan" (I use the term loosely). This is the most weight I have ever lost. So instead of more, fast, NOW, I am going for....sustainable.

When I'm at the proper fill level, I don't think about food....something I NEVER thought I would say...I can climb stairs without worrying about giving myself a heart attack...I wear smaller sizes...etc etc etc

So that's my happy, woohoo, 6 months part of the post. Here's the blah part...this morning's weigh in!

This unfill is really killing me...I was up to 235.6 this morning! I'm definitely making poor choices and that needs to stop. I can eat pretty much ANYTHING. My next fill appointment isn't until April 6th, but I might have to take a page from Steph's book and see if I can get an emergency appt...I was trying to wait it out, so I could see Dr. K (she isn't available until then) so I could touch base with her on my weird port thing...but I may have to suck it up.

Can You See Me?

A few people have mentioned that my blogs aren't coming up in their feeds...plus I haven't been getting very many comments lately - is that a thinly enough veiled plea for attention? ;-) I checked all of my settings, and just wanted to make sure.

With that said...I can read/comment again from work, wooo! Finally got my actual computer instead of the crappy loaner I've been using for weeks, so I can go back to quality commenting :)

I bought a Living Social thing today for one month of unlimited Bikram Yoga here in NYC. I am excited. After Yana talked about it at brunch the other day, it seemed meant. I convinced another few friends to buy it as well, and I am going to go to the newbie class on Saturday. The studio has 4 locations, one of which is 2 blocks from my apt, and they have a TON of class times (at least 8 or 9 a day!). I am going to see how the month goes (ambitious goal of 3 times/week)...and then decide if I want to continue. It's pricey (after my pass expires), but might be worth it? I also have a 5 class package for a Pilates studio to use, so I'll have to start nagging my sister about getting that started.

NYC Brunch and Challenge Weigh-In!

Today was the NYC Bandster brunch and it was a great time! I hadn't met anyone from blogland yet, and was so happy to finally do so. Dos Caminos is SERIOUSLY yummy (how was I born and raised in NYC and not have ever been here before?!) and I can't wait to go back. I had to be a lame-o and take off after brunch instead of hanging at the bar for some more margaritas...but I was having a dire laundry situation that needed to be resolved before tomorrow morning!!! Plus, there was lots of liquor this weekend for bday celebrations, and I just didn't have it in me. Next time, I swear! Big big thanks to Kristin for organizing it all! I'd love to do it again soon, and am volunteering myself to organize the next one :)

My weight this am for the challenge was back up to what it was in Week 1 (234.4). I think last week I was down because I was barely eating before the unfill. This week I definitely have been eating a whole lot (between actually being able to eat again, traveling, birthday dinners, etc), plus I was greeted by my (.) this morning. I have one more dinner to go to this week, then hopefully I will get back into my normal food routine.

It's my Birthday!

I'm trying to have a good day, but obviously there's a big piece missing...last year, my dad was diagnosed with cancer on my birthday, so today has been difficult, but easier than I thought it would be. I did go out with friends last night and had fun, so that's something anyway. I decided to work tonight instead of taking off, since I wanted to keep it low key. Hopefully it'll be a good night at work.

I wanted to blog earlier in the week, but my computer at work does not like the Blogger site (I get my real one this week, so hopefully I'll be able to get on once I have a better machine). My weigh in on Thursday was 231.6, which is up about 3 lb from last week. Not surprising, since I got the unfill last week. I swear, it's like there's no band in there! I can eat a LOT. I am trying to be mindful, especially with all of the birthday dinners, etc. I did slime a tiny bit at dinner last night, but I think I was just eating too too fast...it was a short episode (like 30 seconds) and then I was fine again.

My next fill is scheduled for April 6, and I think I will ask for either .2 or .25 (I am down to 7.0cc)...I was ok at that level...it was 7.5 + stress that was the killer.

I'm excited for the NYC brunch tomorrow! Can't wait to meet so many bandsters!

New Low, and Unfill!

So I have been getting stuck horribly all week, as I mentioned in my last post. As a result, I haven't been eating much...so my weight this morning was down to 228.2. As exciting as that is...I don't think it's legitimate, so I am waiting until next week to "own" it, and start thinking about the next mini goal.

I went in today for an unfill, and Gaspar had a terrible time hitting my port (he has never had trouble with it before). It was getting really, really painful, so he brought Dr. Ren in to try. SHE was having a ton of trouble too, so I suggested we try with me standing, since it's really easy for me to feel my port that way. The needle slipped right in on the first try, and I have been relieved of 0.5cc. I definitely feel a little better...even though I was able to eat today at lunch, I am eating dinner now and am not having any troubles.

The port thing has me a little nervous...so I am going to touch base with Dr. K at my next appointment in April about whether or not I should go for an x-ray to check the port out.

In fun news - my bff and I are booking ourselves on a European cruise for September! It sails out of Barcelona, and goes to Monaco, Florence, Rome, Naples, Sicily, Mallorca, and Marseilles. She is unfortunately going through a divorce, which should be final that month, and it'll be my one year bandiversary...so we definitely wanted to do something awesome. I can't wait!

Am I Too Tight?

I know, I know...if I am questioning it, I most likely am...

My last fill was January 19, a .3 tweak for a total of 7.5cc. I was super tight for about a week afterward, could barely get solids down, but I chalked it up to the combo of flying, and my impending TOM. Since then, it's been on and off uber-tight, but more on than off. I chalked THAT up to all the stress with my dad...but now I am starting to think I just need a small un-fill.

I slime a LOT. I don't PB that often. I tend to stick to softer foods and liquids....chili, soup, meatloaf, eggs, chai, tea, protein shakes. There's no pattern to what makes my band angry. I got REALLY sick on Sunday night, and spent about an hour back and forth into the bathroom at work (which made the actual working part kinda awkward), which led to actual throwing up. I went to dinner last night for my mom's bday, and spent half the dinner in the bathroom sliming. I specifically didn't eat anything for the rest of the night (even tho I was hanging out with good friends until 5am). I just tried to eat some Eggs Benedict, and after one egg started to feel the familiar pressure. I just went and slimed.

What the hell is sliming anyway?! I get what PB'ing is...the food just not being happy....where does all that damn slime come from?!

My next appt to see Dr. K isn't until April...but I am starting to think I need to go in for an unfill tomorrow, Thursday or Friday...I am flying Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, and would hate to get even sicker.

Thoughts?

Actual Pictures?!

I'm at my parents' house this afternoon, going through the pictures we've been scanning, and I have 2 I wanted to post here. I know my pictures have been seriously absent from this blog, and it's not been a conscious thing...I just tend to not have a whole lot of pictures of myself...

Anyway, the first one is a pic of my mother and I in August or so. We were trying to take a new family picture for our team website for the breast cancer walk we do every October. I found this on my mother's computer and had a heart attack but she refuses to let me delete it. I thought it would be a good comparison shot for whenever I get around to taking new pics!


The second is a pic of my dad and I on the beach on Ocean City, MD when I was about 15 or 16. I can't believe I thought I was fat! I would kill for that body...sure, the midsection is a bit chubby, but everything else looks so good!



Weighed in this morning all over the damn place, but all way higher than I've been...not sure if I had too much salt last night or what. I even saw 240! The weight I am officially submitting for the challenge is 234.4...quite frankly, the lowest I could get the scale to show. I saw as low as 230.2 the other day, so hopefully things will right themselves.

As I go through these pics, hopefully I can find some other good comparison shots, and then start taking some new ones!

Goals...just a little late!

I am usually late with everything I do...so instead of setting New Years Resolutions, which I was always bad at anyway...I am setting some 2011 goals (yea, yeah, I know, it's March...whatevs!) They're separated into "Weight Loss/Health", and "Basic Life".

Weight Loss/Health:
1. Drink 3L of water a day (that's 101.4oz)!
I am usually pretty good with water, when I am consciously thinking about it. Maybe the goal should be to consciously think about water...for the last week and a half or so, I've either met or exceeded this one.
2. Take My Vitamins/Meds!
Again, if I am in my routine, this usually goes pretty well. I have consistently taken my meds and vitamins every day for the past week. This is the longest run on that in quite some time.
3. Continue 5lb Mini-Goals...one at a time!
Looking at the big picture of how much I have to lose is overwhelming (much less so than it was at the beginning..), but it's so much easier if I just focus on 5 lbs at a time. I do put a "hopeful" timeframe on these goals, and usually don't meet it, but it's much more do-able...5 lbs at a time.
4. Begin Incorporating Exercise!
I don't want to put too much pressure on myself with this one...so no specifics here...just get out and move! Do something. Anything.

Basic Life Goals:
1. Create a List of Financial Goals!
Based loosely on Dave Ramsey's system, but tweaked for my own life. Refer to this list often. Adjust as necessary.
2. Pursue Professional Development!
In my last position, there were just no opportunities for development, which meant no opportunities to go anywhere. My new boss is all hopped up on the idea of development, and wants to work with me from the beginning on a development plan.
3. Start Working Towards My Degree (again)!
This ties into the financial goals...but it's nothing that should have held me back for as long as it has. I am lucky enough to work for a company that will pay for my education, there is no excuse for me to not take advantage of that.
4. Finish My Apartment!
I have a bad habit of never fully settling in to wherever I am living. I have a feeling this is what leads to me wanting to move so often. Nothing ever feels like "home", except for my parents' house. Since moving back there is not in my plan...I need to fully settle in. This includes DECORATING! I know what I want to put on all of the walls...it's just time to actually get what I am still missing, and put it up!
5. Organize Papers
One of the lessons learned with my dad's passing was that my parents were in no way prepared for a crisis. None of their paperwork was in order. While they were still married, and it was a fairly simple situation, we still could have saved ourselves some stress during a difficult time had that been in place. We are now being very proactive about my mother's estate planning even though she is in good health, in order to avoid this. Even though I am pretty young, I don't think it can hurt to do the same.

So there we go. I'll check back in with these periodically, as appropriate (don't worry, I won't bore you with the whole list every time!)

This morning's weight was 233. A little higher than what I was hoping for, but still a loss nonetheless. I am down 42 lbs in about 6 months (from the start of pre-op diet). I wish I had access to my WW logs from 7 or 8 years ago, but I do believe 233 was the lowest weight I got down to on that diet. That's my lowest weight as an adult. I think I was 19 or so the last time I remember weighing less...and I think I weighed around 220 then.

So, in keeping with the "goals" theme of this blog...next mini goal is 230. I would like to weigh 230 by my birthday (March 19). Since my official weigh in is Thursday, and my birthday is a Saturday, then I have 2 weigh ins to lose 3 pounds. Pretty do-able. I wish I was able to get in for a fill in between now and then, but March is turning out to be a crazy month, so I am going to have to reschedule my appt for later in the month.

Random Stuff

I don't have anything specific to blog about...so this will be a short collection of randoms.

My weight this morning was 232.2...which is a new low, but it won't be "official" until tomorrow. So I am hoping I don't screw this up too badly today. I can't decide if I need another fill or not...at my last appt, I told Dr. K that under no circumstances did I want one, since I was super tight from all the stress with my dad etc. My next appt is supposed to be March 14, but I need to reschedule, so I am trying to figure out WHEN to reschedule for...do I need one? How badly? Can I wait until late March? I think I can, but my brain freaks a little at that...

I started my new job last week. So far it is going well...the new group is really nice, and I think it's going to be a good vibe. I am still getting up and running with all of my technology (my company has really terrible processes for these things...even tho I never stopped being an employee, I had to get new everything). It's an adjustment waking up every morning...but that's definitely not a complaint!

Today is 3 weeks since my dad passed away. I guess I am doing alright...I have my moments, for sure, but am holding it together for the most part. There are definitely triggers, but I let myself get upset for a minute, and then it passes. It's still so hard to believe...he was such a huge force in my life, that it confuses the shit out of me that I'll never talk to him again.

To distract myself, I booked a mini-escape...as I think I've mentioned before, I love to travel to see fave bands, etc, and so in a week and a half, I am flying to Chicago, driving to Milwaukee to see one, and then driving back to Chicago, and flying to LA to see my fave person ever, who also happens to be my fave artist. Friends in both bands have reached out to express support in the past few weeks, so I have no doubt that there will be tears, but music is healing for me. On a superficial level, I am excited to see everyone, and debut my smaller self. The one in LA hasn't seen me since October, and there have been big changes since then.