Weekly Weigh In, BYOC and Happy New Year!

I didn't get around to posting yesterday, because I spent the day running all over the city, and then making an Ikea run. By the time I got home from dropping my dad's truck off back at my parents' house, it was late and I was anxious to get started on putting my new table together. So anyway, here we go!

I weighed in yesterday at 245.8. That's down a total of 29.2 in 16 weeks overall, and 14 weeks since surgery. My band has been super tight the past few days, which not only echoes what happened with my last fill (about a week after the last fill, I was super tight for a few days, and constantly got stuck) - but I am also getting sick, which I think is also contributing to the tightness. I've barely been eating...and haven't been too hungry either. Yesterday, I got stuck on a swedish meatball at Ikea (which I was PISSSSED about, because they were really good!), and today I got stuck on ring o noodle soup! I'm hoping that this doesn't develop into full blown bronchitis, which is typical for me. I did weigh in at 244.2 this morning, so I am hoping that if I have to be sick, I can get a small benefit from it :)

I've set my next mini goal - since I am so close to 30 pounds down, I am skipping that one (especially since if this morning's weight was any indication, I've already met it). I am planning to go to Atlanta for the weekend of Jan 21-23, so I would like to be under 240, which would be 35 down. I'll be meeting up with a few friends who I haven't seen since last spring, and we'll be seeing one of our fave bands (who I saw in November, and got lots of positive comments).

I'm so glad that Draz brought back BYOC for the end of the year! Here are my answers:

1. Do you make a New Year's resolution list every year? Do you meet those resolutions, forget about them, or never meet them?

I don't make resolutions. I think a lot of that stems from always just wanting to lose weight, so that would be the single one, and clearly, I was never successful with it. I am already handling that this year...

2. If you could delete all the songs in existence from a certain singer, who would it be?

This one is HARD. I'm a major, major music lover, and even if I hate a band, I know there are probably people out there who feel the way about them, that I do about MY favorites. With that said, I just don't get Coldplay. Cannot stand them.

3. If you could have sex with any Superhero, who would it be?

Well, since I always end up associating the actors who play the superheroes with the actual characters, I think right now I will have to say Green Hornet. Because while I don't know a single thing about the dude, Ryan Reynolds is playing him, and um, Mama wants some of THAT.

4. If it was free AND unlimited, would you choose to have a cook, chauffeur or masseuse?

Masseuse. Hands down (no pun intended!). I've got years of stress and tension all built up in my shoulders, and while I've finally started to see a chiropractor to try to fix it, I would love unlimited access to massage therapy. I'd seriously get a deep tissue massage every other day. I love to cook, and love to drive, so it's not as much fun when others do that for me.

5. Repeat question - summarize your week, in real life and in blogland.

In real life, I was disappointed by not being able to go away for a few days, but life has been quiet. I would have liked to get more done on the job search front, but the timing is off for that, so I will have to wait until Monday, and then go full force. My dad had surgery on Tuesday, which was stressful. As I've mentioned before, he has gastro-esophageal cancer, and the surgery was to place a port for him to receive liquid nutrition, since his tumor is making eating more and more of an issue. In blogland, I've been quieter than I would like to be. I am still trying to blog more often, and would like to post more pictures (but I think I would have to start taking them in order to post them!). I've been commenting sporadically, but would like to do that more as well!

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year's Eve/Day, however you are celebrating. I wasn't in much of a party mood this year, so was going to spend the night with my cousin and best friend, including a nice quiet dinner and a night in with some good wine. I woke up feeling like crap, so decided to stay home and drink tea and eat soup, and sleep. Exciting huh? I am actually not a fan of NYE, so it's fine with me.

Whine Alert!!!

I am a very unhappy Liz today. This will be a whine-fest....so sorry, but it's one of the few places I can safely vent.

Living in NY, I accept that we have winter weather and this cannot be controlled. I know this. I was supposed to be flying to Atlanta today for a short post holiday hell getaway with one of my BFFs. Well, "Snowpocalypse 2010" happened, and all flights into/out of NYC are cancelled. No trip for me. Fine, it's December, these things happen.

Well, since a lot of the people who work at the night job are stuck in the various places they went for the holidays, they're short a waitress tonight, and I might have to go to work, after making plans to mourn the loss of the trip with the BFF. Mind you, I have no obligation to go in, but I feel like if they need me, I need to go (especially since I live 4 blocks away). So after working all weekend (Fri, Sat and Sun), and basically having no Christmas, I now probably have to go in for the 4th night in a row. The snow has triple screwed me - no trip, no plans to mourn loss of the trip, and now having to work.

My sister is actually the staff manager at the club, and she kind of irritated me the way the whole thing regarding working tonight was handled. She had the waitress who was stuck out of town text me, and say "Jenn asked me to see if you could work...blah blah". Like Jenn doesn't call/text me 80 times a day? She couldn't ask herself? So I called my sister, explained that I didn't really WANT to work, but if she really ended up stuck I would do it. All I asked of her was that she let me know as early as she could....and she got a little squirrelly with me. Listen, I am doing YOU a favor, and in return, I'd like you to let me know if you need me at 5:30 instead of 6 so I can maybe have some semblance of a night with my friends like I was planning? She got all huffy and snippy with me.

We've talked in the past about how she tries to not show favoritism towards me (back story - I have been there long er than she has, and actually got her the job there - I left for a few years and in that time, she became one of the managers, which I used to be before I left). She's actually asked me to let her know if I ever that she is going too far in the other direction to try to avoid favoring me - and I think this time she has a bit. If it was one of the other waitresses, she would not have gotten attitude-y with them, and bent over backwards to try to accommodate them since they were doing her a favor. So I guess I need to have a chat with her.

The only bright spot of today, is that my weight is down to 246.4. It's been dropping little by little every day since the last fill. I did get a teeny bit stuck on eggs a little while ago...so I waited a bit and am trying them again tentatively.

If you actually read all the way through - thank you thank you thank you! If not, I do not blame you! Is it 2011 yet?

Three Month Bandiversary et al

Wow, I cannot believe that it has been three months since my surgery. It feels like just yesterday that I was slumped in a chair in the hospital hallway, stalking my nurse for my morphine :)

In the past 3 months (I guess 3.5 including pre-op), I've lost 27.2 pounds. While this is the first week that my average per week loss dipped below 2 pounds, I am still so incredibly thrilled. I've never had trouble losing the first 20 pounds - it's what happened after that where I slipped. This time, I am losing more slowly, but much more consistently. I'm starting to get to the point where the band is really being "turned on", as my surgeon says. I don't expect drastically quick results, but I know for the first time that this is what will finally do it for me.

I wish I had taken more pictures at the beginning (I know, I know, everyone told me to, but I HATE being in pictures if I don't have to). I wish I had taken my measurements. I didn't, so I just have to go on what I feel and what I know. I feel my hipbones much more. Apparently my ass is noticeably smaller (more on that later). My torso looks much smaller. My face is a lot skinnier (especially when I have on earrings, and my hair is up). I haven't officially dropped any sizes yet - but all of my work pants are way too big, my jeans that were wayyy too tight (I wore them anyway!) now fit really well, and lots of things that were in the "someday" pile, are now in the "getting a little too big" pile.

So, my weight this morning was 247.8, down 1.8 from last week. At my appt on Monday, I wasn't expecting a fill, but ended up getting one anyway. I am now up to 7.2cc in a 10cc band. The last fill took a good week to kick in, so I'm hoping that I have a few good weeks before my period shows up and ruins everything.

Today was my last day at work for while, or until I find a new position. I have a couple of really good leads, and I have applied to a bunch of jobs. Hopefully something will pan out. Until then, I'm on indefinite paid vacation. I would enjoy it more if I knew what was going to happen, but I am going to just roll with the punches.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas! I am working the night job all weekend, but will get to spend Christmas morning/afternoon with my parents and sister.

What a Week...

I have had the stressful week from hell! (warning, LOTS of whining ahead!)

I found out on Monday that my job is being eliminated. It wasn't a huge surprise, but I wasn't expecting it to be so soon. As I've mentioned, I've been looking for a new position for the last few months, and was hoping to be safely ensconced in another dept before the hammer fell, but it was not to be. The way they structure things is pretty decent, though...so my last day is next Thursday, but I am paid and considered an active employee through the end of February, so I have until then to find another job within the company. I have a couple of really solid leads, and do get priority for any openings since I am on the chopping block, but it's still been stressful. I haven't been sleeping very well.

I've also been feeling a little under the weather - I had an appt with a new PCP on Tuesday, and somehow I ended up getting blood drawn, a flu shot and a tetanus/dpt vaccine all on the same day. My arms are now really sore (just the thing when you waitress a few nights a week!), and my upper back, which is where all of my stress collects, is killing me. My sinuses have been really dry from the humidity levels in my apartment, and the flu shot's side effects have kicked in.

My band has been cranky too (I guess the question of whether stress makes me tighter has been answered). I got stuck 3 times last week in 2 days (twice at an offsite work meeting, that was fun!), and then twice again this week. It's either been because I've been eating too early, or because I am not making the best choices. Sigh. Learning curve, I guess.

Today was weigh-in day. I am down to 249.6, which isn't a huge loss from last week, but at least it's a new decade. We'll see if it sticks. Next appt is for next Monday, and I don't think I need a fill just yet...

Thursday Weigh In (a day late and unfortunately, a dollar short..)

I meant to blog this yesterday, but just never got a chance to (yay work?)

I was up yesterday to 251.4. I know it's not a justified gain, so I am not stressing too too much about it, but I am still mildly annoyed that once again, I am nowhere near a mini goal (I wanted to be 245 by today). I did see the 240s briefly on the scale the other day when I took a peek (I am not an every-day-weigher, but sometimes I do peek).

I got that fill last week, bringing me to 6.6cc. As soon as I started back on solids, I felt a HUGE difference. This has definitely involved some more "re-training" when it's come to eating. I've gotten stuck a few times since. Ah, oh well. I am trying to take it easy, and am being super alert for signs of tightness. And papaya enzyme pills are my new BFF.

Still no word on the new position. Things here at work are becoming very nerve-wracking. Oy.

Ouch! (aka NSV!)

I just dropped something under the table, and bent over the back of the chair to pick it up. I guess the height of my chair is exactly the right height for my port to hit as I bent.

Well, that sucker HURT. I got a port ouchie for the first time, and that's because there isn't as much cushion on top of it! I love finding NSVs in the strangest places!

It's also starting to get pretty cold here in NYC, so I've finally retired my trusty leather motorcycle jacket. I ordered 2 new coats a few months ago from Old Navy. One of them fit nicely, and one fit, but wasn't that flattering yet. Well, the one that fit is officially too big (oops, this was the first time I wore it!), and so I am guessing this means that the other might fit really well now.

I think it's time for a "From My Rack to Yours" post...hopefully I can find someone to take some pictures this weekend so you can see what the pieces look like on a body, not just a hanger or laying on the bed.

This latest fill is doing pretty well by me so far - I am supposed to still be on mushies, which I am mostly sticking to, but I had a dinner last night to attend, so I had to make the best choices that I could (and man, was it yummy). I can feel a big difference, so I am making sure to eat slowly, take small bites, and chew chew chew. I'm hoping it gives me a boost to get my butt into the 240s, and to meet my mini goal.

I still haven't heard anything about the new position at work - they were planning on making a decision by today (although I've heard that story before), so hopefully I will find out on Monday. I followed up with the recruiter yesterday (we have internal recruiters too, it's a HUGE company) and she said she had gotten really good feedback on me, and that I was definitely still in consideration.

Otherwise, work is still kicking my ass. It's 10pm on a Friday, and I just finished the work I brought home. Work I brought home not because I slacked all week while I was actually there, but because I am supporting way too many people (most admins in my department support 2 or 3 people, I am supporting 8), and have too many extra projects to do. I did get everything I needed to do done (including my year end self assessment, which I HATE HATE HATE doing, but I think I did a pretty good job), so I can FINALLY get started on enjoying my Friday night.
Which is going to consist of the bowl of chili I am enjoying now, excessive amounts of Food Network (hi, I'm Liz and I am a Food Network addict. "Hi Liz.."), and quality time with the book I'm reading and my electric blanket. My life is so exciting (well sometime it actually is...)

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I have to work tomorrow night at the club, and plan to also be a bum on Sunday since it's my only actual day off every week. I'll check in with everyone then to update on Holiday Challenge weigh in! Oh, gotta go, time for "The Best Thing I Ever Ate".

Weigh-In, Fill #3, anf 25# down!!!!

I'll start with the happiest news! I weighed in this morning, and was very pleased to FINALLY see 250 on the nose! That's 25# down. It only took 12 weeks (from start of pre-op diet) or 10 weeks (from surgery) depending on where you count from. That's still a pretty good average, just above 2 lb a week. I am so pleased with my progress, and while it would be nice it if was faster, it's still happening, and I can't get mad about that! This gives me (a little) hope that I might actually meet the current Mini-Goal of being 30# down (245) by next Friday.

I had fill #3 yesterday. I was supposed to see Dr. K in the morning, but I spaced and didn't realize that I had a morning appt until 15 minutes before, when I was still in my PJs in my apartment. Oops. I called and they rescheduled me to the afternoon with Gaspar. He seriously has a magic touch! The needle slid right in, no pain, and a second later, right back out again. Easy peasy. He gave me another cc for a total of 6.6cc. I definitely feel a difference while drinking. It'll be interesting to see what food is like. I had a chai (addict) and some noodle soup (little noodles) in the evening. Today I am working on my 2nd bottle of water, but my tummy is growling so I am going to go make a protein shake in a few. It'll be soup for lunch. Unfortunately, I have a dinner to attend tonight that I can't get out of, so I am going to do my best to find mushies on the menu.

That's it for me for now...hope everyone is having a good week!

Weigh-In...and Turkey Day!

I was kind of disappointed with my weigh in this week - I was up 3 pounds to 254. I think I ate something salty on Wednesday night, and I know I definitely ate too late. Oh well. No big deal. I've accepted it and moved on, and I'll even change my ticker. Hopefully I can get it off quickly, so that I still have a shot at making the next mini-goal of 245 by 12/10 (not looking likely unless I have a big drop over the next couple of weeks).

Thanksgiving was a nice day. I meant to take a picture of my plate, but my phone was in the other room. I went to my parents' house as always. We had: turkey, mashed potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, stuffin' muffins, string beans, carrots, gravy, corn bread and crescent rolls. Dessert was apple crisp and chocolate cream pie. I definitely filled my plate too full (even though I was trying to take smaller portions than I would have in years past). I ended up eating about 3 slices of white meat, a stuffin'muffin (so good!), about 1/2 cup of carrots, a few string beans, a few bites of mashed potatoes, and about half of a crescent roll. For dessert, I had a piece of apple crisp. Oh! I almost forgot, I made a brie en croute for an appetizer (brie, caramelized onions and apples baked in puff pastry. OMG.) I had some of that too, but we had a decent amount of time in between that and dinner. It was a nice day with the family.

Today I am just taking it easy, doing some chores around the apartment. I am supposed to work at the night job tonight and tomorrow night. I'd love to get out of one night, but we'll see.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Thursday Weigh-In...and a Vent on Humanity (or Lack Thereof)...

Good stuff first! Weighed in this morning at 251. That's down a total of 24 in 10 weeks (so my average is 2.4 lb per week, which I am very very happy with). This last fill (only my second!) seems to be doing its job. I don't get very hungry, and when I do, even though it comes on suddenly and very intensely, after a small amount I am satisfied. If I had to decide whether or not to get another fill tomorrow, I think I would definitely say no.

Time to set my next mini goal - S is playing a show on Dec 10th, which is 3 weigh-ins away. I would like to be down 30# by then. 6 pounds in 3 weeks is a lot, especially with my roller-coaster loss so far, but I am hoping that at this fill level, it's attainable.

And that brings us to: Why I Think Humanity Sucks Today, by Liz F.

Someone mugged my 5', 120 lb, 78 year old grandmother the other day. My mother just told me about this. She was mugged in her own goddamn apartment complex, on her way to the casino (my grandparents live in Vegas). The lowlife piece of shit knocked her to the ground, and took her purse, which had about $300 cash, bank/credit cards and her keys. My mother is beside herself, and I am not far behind her. Unfortunately, my grandma is starting to exhibit signs of dementia, and afterward, she went up to a man in the complex and asked if he was the man who mugged her. He said no, and walked away, but things that like might as well paint on target on her as being vulnerable.

My mom has been trying to get them to move back to NYC for a while now, but I think this is going to re-ignite the campaign. I am just sick about this.

Holiday Challenge Week 2

My weight this morning was 252...which I was pretty happy with! According to my spreadsheet, it's my new lowest low. I am sure the liquids after my fill on Friday did not hurt, let's just hope I can keep it up!!!

I had a fun day today. A friend came to see my apartment and have a slumber party last night, and she and I went shopping all afternoon today. I lost my mind a little and bought a new pair of boot (awesome ass kickin' boots!) from Steve Madden that I'd had my eye on, and this great slouchy purse in gray that was a total impulse buy. Shopping NSV, while I was waiting for the sales girl to bring me my size, I checked myself out in the full wall of mirrors in the store, and I looked way smaller (I was wearing schlumpy sweats, too!) 'Twas exciting.

One of these days, I promise I will post some pictures so you guys can see what I look like! I feel like my blog is so boring.

Big interview tomorrow morning. I am feeling good about it, and am going in there pretty confident. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Fill #2 - Another cc

Just got back from fill #2 with Dr. K. She was very pleased with my progress. I am down 7# from my last appt 3.5 weeks ago (10/18) on their scales. She wanted to double check the amount I had in the band, and it turns out I actually had 4.6cc all along (which explained why I am not really experiencing bandster hell). She added another cc, for a total of 5.6.

So now it's liquids today and tomorrow, then mushies Sunday and Monday. I'm enjoying some potato soup from Hale & Hearty right now, and have a chai waiting for me. I'll probably have a shake for dinner, and another chai later.

I did mention the chai thing to her, and she said I shouldn't drink them, because the sugar will only make me hungrier. That hasn't been the case for me - I don't know if I have a sensitivity to sugar or not...they don't make me hungry...I am still struggling with the "eat when you're hungry, and don't when you're not" thing. I don't get hungry a whole lot, that's for sure. We'll see how it goes.

Just a quickie for me today - gotta get back to work so I can get out of here!!! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Weigh-In Day and Sizes

So, this morning my weigh in was slightly disappointing - 255.6. That's up about 3# from the lowest, and about 2# from last week. Notice I didn't say shocking, mind you. I definitely need to work on the portions, the sodium and the quality of my food. plus, I woke up at about 3am and wanted...something, anything. So I had 2 spoonfuls of peanut butter (which I have a feeling will be on the no no list soon) and a glass of milk.

Thank God I have a fill tomorrow. I am not sure how much I'll get, but I am at 4cc after 1 fill. I'm hoping for at least another cc, to get me to 5 (although 6 would be better!)

I had to go shopping last night to pick up some stuff for job interviews tomorrow and Monday, and it got me thinking about sizes. I fit into a wide range of sizes. I'd say about 90% of my wardrobe is from Old Navy. I am 5'8", btw.
Jeans - 16 (sweetheart fit). These are still quite tight, but not as tight as they used to be :)
Work slacks - 18 or 20 (all very loose, but I tried on a pair of 16s that have been gathering dust in my closet for years and they were still way too tight to wear in public (but they went on and zipped no problem).
Tops - between an XL and XXL, depending on the cut and fit.
Bras - 42DDD or 44DDD.
Undies - Ranges from a 7 to a 9, or if Lane Bryant, 14/16.

Last night, I bought a jacket (18/20) and a sheath dress (14/16). The 14/16 in the jacket fit, but was a little too tight, so I went with the 18/20. The sheath dress fit really nicely, and just needs a little help underneath if I wear it with no jacket or sweater (plus it was only $14.99!) Keeping my fingers crossed that the interviews go well - it would be a transfer into another department, and a small step up in level. The new department also has a lot more growth potential, and my current one has absolutely none.

NSVs, Coming Clean, and Interview Woes

A few NSVs to start:
- I went to go see a few friends' band play last night. As I mentioned in previous posts, when I set my mini goal of being down -25# by the time I saw them (did not happen, btw, I am ok with this)...I have seen most of them over the past year, except for one of them. Three of the five members noticed that I looked "different, but I can't figure out why", "skinnier", "hotter than usual". I will take it, happily.
- I wore heeled boots for the first time in forever. Usually after tapping my toe for a few songs, my feet are killing me in these boots. No such issues last night!
- I can feel my port now.
- I sent my ex-roomie a pic of my hands last night to show her some new jewelry I bought (she is an accessories whore) and she replies that she not only loved the rings, but that my hands looked oddly thin.
- I have this old pair of boxers that I wear to sleep. I put them on last night, then walked to the bathroom and they were falling off. (Sad NSV bc I love them...)

After I went to see the band play last night, since I was downtown (I live uptown now), I went to the bar that S works at. S is one of my best friends who might also be the love of my life (that's a whole 'nother blog). I had not told him that I was being banded, just that I was having surgery. Part of the reason was that we were at a different place he was working at the time (this was about a month pre-band), and there were people around and I didn't feel like getting into it at that time (I was cranky from a day of unsuccessful apartment hunting). The other part was that I didn't necessarily want to admit to him that I needed it (mental thing). We were texting a few weeks after that, and he referred to it as my lady thing surgery...all I said was that it wasn't a lady thing surgery, and that I just hadn't wanted to get into it right then. Fast forward to last night - hadn't talked much in a while, and hadn't seen him since August.

When I walked in, he looked at me a little strangely after he came around the bar to hug me. He asked if I was "ok", in that tone that tells you immediately that someone is referring to the surgery. I told him I was great, and we started to talk, then the other bartender came over, so it kind of got put on pause. After a little while, S and I went on a McD's run, and it was pretty empty while we were waiting for the food, so I brought it back up. I told him what kind of surgery I had, and I was pretty surprised that I didn't actually have to explain it to him (he is cute, but sometimes kind of dense). He gave me a big hug, and seemed very happy for me, and said that he saw a difference, now that we were somewhere bright. Then of course he said "Why are you eating McD's! You can't have McD's!" So I did a little explaining on how it works and that I can, in fact, eat pretty much whatever I want, just differently. (My McD's order these days is either a 4 or 6 piece McNuggets, and a cheeseburger which I remove most of the top bun from). It was kind of liberating to tell him - I felt like I was keeping something big from him, which I don't like to do. We took the food back to the bar, and it took me a million years to eat, which he also commented on. I did try a bite of his McRib. I don't think there was anything having to do with actual ribs in there, but it was delicious (I had never tried one before). not something I would order on my own or eat the entire thing of, but nice to know I can steal a bite of someone else's!!!

I also mentioned a few weeks ago that I was applying for new jobs within my company. I hadn't heard anything, but out of nowhere yesterday, I got invites to 3 interviews, 2 this Friday and 1 on Monday (with the actual hiring manager - at 9am on a Monday morning! That just seems cruel). Here's the dilemma...I am not worried about the actual interviews at all...I am FREAKED out what I am going to wear. Suits are not flattering on my shape, so I have not had one in years. I thought I had some twin sets that will work, but after doing a little closet shopping, I apparently no longer have a black one. Ugh. So I need to get a black twin set, perhaps a jacket if I can find a decent one, and some shows. Then I'll be ready to knock them dead.

I'm still alive!

Wow-eee! Moving totally kicked my ass. Note to self: next time you move, please make sure you do so when you can either take some vacation (didn't have any left for the year), or can phone it in for a week or so.

Hence the lack of blogging! I barely had time to shower, much less blog. I have been keeping up with everyone's blogs, though...and have tried to comment when I can.

Scale-wise, I am doing ok...no loss, and a slight gain actually. I weighed in at 254 on Thursday (official), which was up 1.8 from my low of 252.8, and today for the Holiday Challenge start weight, I was at 255.2, up 2.4 from the low. Not thrilled, but I'll take it. My eating has been all over the map this week - I started sleeping at the new apartment on Tuesday, but didn't have any of my kitchen things until Friday. Then I wasn't able to get food shopping until today, so there's been a lot of take-out. Added to that the fact that I can pretty much eat anything, in any amount (altho I am trying to keep it in check)...and my new addiction...

Which leads me to...the new addiction. Starbucks Chai Lattes. I am one of those weirdos who doesn't drink coffee. Never have, no plans to start. I drink tea in the morning if I am eating breakfast. I had had chai a few times, but recently, rediscovered it, and started drinking a lot of it. I'm talking a 2 a day habit....which calorie wise, is fine, fits completely into the "budget"...and since they have a decent amount of protein, that's another plus...but I'm not sure of the sugar. A grande has about 16g of sugar (I think). My nutritionist hasn't mentioned any caloric/fat/sugar guidelines...just the protein. Anyone have any thoughts on whether this much sugar is ok/not ok? Or what kind of sugar guidelines they follow?

I have to travel for work tomorrow/Tuesday, so not sure what that'll mean for eating, but I'll hopefully make decent choices. Friday will be fill #2, and I'd like to go in showing some loss from the first one 3 weeks ago (I was at 258.8 by my scale a few days prior - theirs is usually a few pounds more).

I did cook for the first time in my new kitchen today, but my chili (usually fantastic) came out a little off....I think I may have browned the meat a little too much while I was having technical difficulties with the cheapie can opener I bought (and promptly threw out afterwards). I'll just have to suck it up and eat the other 5 portions....wasn't bad, just not as good as usual.

That's all I've got for now...hope everyone is having a good week!

Slowly but surely...

I know I've been quiet lately - working on trying to post more, but work is kicking my ass, plus I am getting ready to move next week. Hopefully after the move, and after they hire someone to replace my boss, things will calm down quite a bit.

I weighed in faithfully this morning and was pleasantly surprised to see that the scale is indeed moving. -2lbs, to be exact. My eating has been ok....I definitely eat a whole hell of a lot less than I did before surgery. I am not counting calories, but am trying to be mindful of protein. I think I do have a bit too much sodium, which doesn't help with water retention, but I try to average 3L of water a day to counteract that. I've always veered towards the salty rather than the sweet, and my go to good protein foods tend to have a lot of sodium. I don't have any blood pressure issues, so it should be ok.

Gotta get back to work, just a quickie today. Oh, and LA was an absolute blast, I so did not want to come home. And it is possible to enjoy an In N Out after banding (no bun!)

Mini-Goal progress (be down 25# by Nov. 9th): only 2.8 to go, with a week and a half remaining! I think I can, I think I can :)

Hello from Los Angeles!

Just checking in to say hello for beautiful Los Angeles. I don't want to come home.

Everyone I have seen so far has commented on the weight loss so far, saying that they can really see it. It's nice ot see people who don't see you every day, I think they notice it a lot more.

Being here means going out to eat, and so I've had some side effects. Last night I want and got Mexican with my friend L, and got chicken fajitas. I ate a piece of flour tortilla, and think it was trying to come back up, I felt it all bubbling around my esophagus and the back of my throat. We weren't sitting far from the bathroom, and I just decided to sit and let it do what it was going to do - after a few minutes it seemed to resolve itself. I ate some more, but very cautiously, just had some more chicken and veggies, but no more tortilla.

After getting some drinks with my friend Sam and his friends last night, we went to eat at Canter's Deli afterward (a diner/Jewish deli type place). I ordered egss, bacon and toast. Well, my standard MO is to dip the toast in my yolks, then eat the eggs. I definitely must have been eating too fast, and not chewing well enough, because I got stuck. That shit HURTS. I sat for a few more minutes hoping it'd get better but it wasn't, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom (Sam was the only person at the table who knew about the band), and went to see if it wanted to come out. It didn't, but the walking around helped. I was able to go back and eat some more of the eggs and some more bacon, but not much.

I think eating after a few drinks is definitely going to have to have all bread things excluded - the eggs and bacon probably would have been fine by themselves, but the toast really did me in.

I'm off to have lunch with some of my wonderful friends here - then to see their band play. Fun fun fun!

First Post-Fill Weigh-In....Whew!

I did my official WI this morning, praying that the gain I saw over the last 2 weeks would be gone....and it WAS! 254.8. Not sure what the fraction was when I last saw 254.something right before I started mushies, but I feel comfortable calling this my new low. I was pretty confident that I would have a good scale day, since TOM is over, and I was on the post-fill liquids/mushies for a few days.

Speaking of my fill - it's pretty crazy. I ate 2 medium meatballs with sauce for dinner last night (mashed up of course)....and while I think I definitely ate too fast because I had to leave for night job....I was so full. From 2 meatballs?! Based on DP, I ended up at 1066 calories and 93g of protein. I am kinda OCD and anal retentive, so I am going to have to eventually enter a recipe in for the meatballs so I get accurate numbers for those, but I used their estimate for now. I also had 3 liters (96oz) of water for the day, which was pretty awesome. Water is so so so easy to get in when I am at the day job. I'm working from home today so it will be more of a challenge.

Today I am planning on:
2 scrambled eggs with cheese
Greek yogurt
CIB shake
string cheese or 2
meatballs with grated cheese
Grande skim chai latte

Identical to yesterday, except for the cheese with the eggs.

Still no activity on the gym front for the week (and no chance for it either). Hopefully next week I can get there at least twice....should be a much less crazy week at work so I am going to do my best.

I saw a few people at work last night who I hadn't seen since before the surgery, and got a few more comments on my face looking a lot thinner. That's where I am seeing it the most for now, too...so it's nice to know I'm not crazy!

I'm heading to LA for the weekend to see some friends and to see my friends' band play. Should be a fun fun time. I am interested to see how flying affects me, since I do a lot of it. I am hoping I am not one of the unlucky ones who gets tight on planes.

I decided to set one mini goal at a time attached to an upcoming event....ie I want to be xxx lbs by the time John Smith (giggle) is in town. So on and so forth...the only rule is that I can't be upset with myself if I don't make it, it's just supposed to be added incentive. The first one I set was to be down 25# by this weekend. Since that didn't happen, and there are logical reasons why, I am ok with it... Next mini goal: be 25# down, or 250, by Nov. 9th when some of my band boys are in town. That's 2.5 weeks to lose 4.8#. I think it's pretty reasonable!

Calories/Protein Goals vs. Hunger?

Hoping to get advice from some of the veterans on this new conundrum I find myself facing...

I am not really hungry after my fill (I'm sure this won't last, but this is how it is for now...), but know that I need to try to get in my protein/get enough calories so that my body isn't thinking starvation.

What's more important? The protein/calories, or listening to your actual hunger?

I had about 4oz of scrambled eggs around 9am, and it took me a half hour to eat them. It's almost noon, and I am trying to figure out if I should eat my Greek yogurt (my brain says yes, my body says nah we don't need that yet).

I'm not so worried about protein today - based on DP (Daily Plate), I am going to come in around 69g of protein if I just have the eggs, yogurt, a shake this afternoon and for dinner I am planning on 2 meatballs in sauce w/grated cheese. But this only comes in at around 700 calories (obviously give or take..)

Is this enough caloric intake? Seems way low. Any advice/opinions are appreciated!

Back from the Land of the Lost...

Work has been INSANE, and I've had literally no time to post or comment. I've been reading, but haven't had any time past that! With that said...where were we?

Weight loss has been slow slow slow. Once I went back to solids, I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted. I have been making a supreme effort to keep portions down. I do get full much faster than I used to, and think I have recognized what my soft stop is (a very dull ache in my chest). Haven't really pushed it to find out what my "hard" stop is! :) I have actually gained about 4lb from the lowest low I've seen (254), but am not taking it to heart. I know eventually it'll move in the right direction.

I got my first fill yesterday! Dr. K drew out .6cc from surgery, and added 3.4 more, for a total of 4.0cc. She said it might be a little bit more, she thought there was more in there at surgery, but couldn't get anything else out. The fill itself didn't hurt at all, tiny pinch. She did have to push around a bit to find the port (because of how I am shaped - ps, it is not at all where I thought it was, whoops!), but it was pretty quick and easy. Not sure what kind of restriction, if any, this fill will bring me, as I'm still on liquids today and then mushies tomorrow and Thursday. I can definitely feel a difference when I swallow, even water, but not uncomfortable at all. Next appt is Nov 12.

As I mentioned, work has been crazy crazy crazy. My manager left the company a week after I came back to work, so I have been trying to close out/transition all of her projects and work, as well as get her office cleaned out. She was fairly senior, so there's been a lot to do. Not to mention, she had started planning a series of 3 day workshops not long before she decided to leave, and somehow, the entire responsibility for these got dumped on me. It's been frustrating, but I am hoping ultimately will gain me a little recognition that will lead to either a raise or a promotion. When my manager told me she was leaving, I did apply to another position within the company since the timing would be good. It's a slight promotion, but with a much more defined (and realistic career pathway - don't have one of those in my current group).

I started going back to the gym. We're lucky to have one in our building, and we're encouraged to go during the day (within reason, of course). I went twice last week, and am AIMING for going three times this...not sure if that's likely to happen. I think I can manage at least twice though.

I also did the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in the Bronx this weekend, and not only did I walk about 3 miles, but my family's team raised over $5k! My mother was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer in 2008, but was luckily able to beat it. So this is a cause very close to our hearts. I'm pretty happy that I got to raise money AND get some exercise at the same time.

I think that's all for me for now - hoping that the liquids post-fill and the departure of TOM will be nice to me on the scale on Thursday. Hope everyone is doing well...I promise to start commenting more!

<3
Liz

Mushies, New Tattoos and Back to Work!

I moved to mushies on Sunday, which was Day 10 post-op. (Well, technically, I had some scrambled eggs and cheese at about 1am Saturday night - hey, it was technically Sunday!) I have never been so excited. I had eggs again when I woke up on Sunday, and meatloaf, roasted cauliflower and mashed potatoes for dinner. I've been eating the meatloaf ever since - I have never been a leftover girl, but this works for me.

Unfortunately, since I transitioned to "real" food (even though it's still mushy, it's way more substantial than what I had been taking in for the past 10 days!), the scale is no longer dropping at a speedy rate. It's ok, I expected this. I was down to 254.something (not sure) on Sunday, then it crept to 255.4 yesterday, and this morning 256. I know my body is probably thrilled to be taking in over 500 calories, so I am giving it a break. As long as I don't do too much damage between now and my first fill (Oct 18th), I will be ok with it.

I had a productive (well relative to my activity level lately) weekend. On Saturday night, my friend Carla (hereafter known as my HLP, or Hetero Life Partner) and I popped into my night job, the comedy club, to say hi to everyone. It was good to see them all, and a bunch of people commented that my face looked much slimmer, and that overall I looked smaller. On Sunday, I went and got a new tattoo, and had another one re-done. I got a periwinkle ribbon on my left wrist for gastro-esophageal cancer (for my dad), and re-did the outline of the pink ribbon on my left wrist to match (for my mom, she is a survivor). It's quite amusing to put on/take off a bra when you are still being careful of tummy incisions AND trying to avoid both wrists.





I went back to work yesterday and wow was that a culture shock. Actually getting dressed, making the long commute in, and then being awake for an 8 hour stretch...jeez. I was exhausted when I got home, but I am almost all caught up, so I can go back to normal days. Since I was out and about for a few hours on both Saturday and Sunday, it wasn't too too bad. I got in to find out that my boss has given her notice, and will be leaving the company at the end of this week, so it's been a little crazy. Several people there have also noticed that I've lost - which is nice.

I am definitely glad I decided to take the extra time off of work - I feel so much better than I did last week. I thought recovery was going top be way easier than it actually was - maybe I am just a wuss. I had a lot more pain than I expected, was way more tired than I thought, etc. Happy to say that now, the only pain I have is my port incision, and that just twinges if I am sitting for too long (unfortunately, day job is a desk job...)

That's it for me for now! Hope everyone is having a great day :)

Confession Time!

Earlier today, when I was eating my potato soup, there was a single chunk of potato in it (not a big fan of my parents' stick blender, so I didn't get them all)....and I ate it. It was mushy, and went down fine.

(That's not the confession...)

There have been ice cream sandwiches in the freezer for a few days now (all geared towards the "Fatten Dad Up" campaign which is ongoing)...I loves me some ice cream sandwiches. After thinking about them (a LOT) today, I decided to try one out. Very small bites, chew very well, and throw it out if I experienced any discomfort or pain while eating it. My theory was that the ice cream would obviously be no problem, and that since the cookie part is usually pretty mushy, as long as I chewed it well, it wouldn't be an issue either.

I think I was testing myself, basically because I think I am good to move to mushies. It was very frustrating to me that Dr. K said no, especially since I was definitely expecting her to say yes.

Whaddya know - it went down fine. One of those bad boys would normally take me approximately 30 seconds to eat, this took around 5 minutes.

And I don't feel bad about it.

With that said - I know in all of the rules it says not to advance yourself...but I really think I am ready for at least "really" mushy foods....eggs, pudding, cottage cheese? Opinions?

One Week Post Op!

I am officially one week post op today, and I definitely feel much better than I did the past few days. My incisions are the only thing that still actually hurt (and mainly just my port incision). Back pain is almost all gone, and I am a lot perkier. So thanks for all of the sympathetic noises after my last whiny post - it really did help, and I promise to (try to) whine less.

I've been a daily weigher since the beginning of pre-op, but am only counting Thursday weigh ins. While I've been pretty happy with the daily loss I've been seeing, I am happy to report that the number today was 257.8, which is down a total of 17.2 overall (3 weeks), and 10.2 since surgery (1 week). I know it's because I am getting very few calories, and that as soon as I can move to mushies, this will probably slow down, and maybe even stop with solids. I am ok with that I guess...I knew what I was getting myself into (Bandster Hell!), and am relying on my early loss to carry me through. 17 pounds is still 17 pounds.

I had my post-op with Dr. K yesterday, and she said everything looks good. I was hoping and praying for clearance for mushies today...but alas, she is standing strong at 10 days. She did say I could go to thicker liquids, since I have been hungry (so tomorrow I am going to try some thin Cream of Wheat). I guess that means Sunday I will be planning on waking up and eating the best scrambled eggs ever (weirdly enough, that's been my biggest craving - scrambled eggs). I also made my first fill appointment, for 10/18. Not sure how aggressive Dr. K is, but they want to see me every 3 weeks for the first few months, so even if each fill isn't very aggressive, I have high hopes that we'll get there quickly.

I made a big batch of potato cheese soup the other night to give me some variety (really have no interest in tomato soup for a while, no matter how good it is), and that's added an important facet of life back in - pooping. Man, never thought I would be so happy to poop a little every day. Yeah yeah, TMI - but I've reading all of your blogs - you can handle it! ;-)

A few things popped up today that I am definitely excited to show off some loss at - first in about 3 weeks, I am heading to LA for the weekend. I have a ton of friends in LA, love it there, and try to get there about 4 times a year. It's hard for me to go for weekends, since I am usually working, but since I am off from the night job for a while, and should be healed enough from surgery, I thought it was good timing. I will obviously be seeing a lot of people who might notice the loss more quickly than those who see me often, but I ALSO get to see my baby, Sam. Sam is a dear dear friend of mine who just moved there a few weeks ago, and I already miss him desperately. Despite his model good looks (no, really, he is a model and an actor), he is quite possibly the nicest guy on the planet. We've pledged to get married when I am 34 and he is 30. Please move faster, time :) Anyway, I am very excited to see him, and see his reaction.

Second, in about 5 weeks, one of my favorite bands is playing in NYC. They haven't been here in over a year, and though I've seen a few of the members over the past year, it'll be fun to go out and show off a (sort of) new shape, even if it's just a little smaller. One of my favorite things to do is go see an amazing band play (you'll hear a lot more about this in the future I am sure - I have seen my favorite artist play 100 times, in 25 states and 4 countries!), and it's been a few months since I saw a show, so it's a two-for-one, as far as I am concerned! Plus, I'll be all moved into my new apartment (God, I can't wait, altho being at home with my parents right now has been a blessing).

I am FINALLY caught up on everyone's blogs who have been kind enough to follow me - again, if you are following me, and I am not following you, please please please leave a comment with your blog link...some people I could not find a link to their blog so have been unable to follow back.

And on the Fourth Day Post-Op, God Said....

Let there be poop! (Sorry, couldn't resist! I've been wanting to say that all day, and didn't think anyone other than my bandster buddies would appreciate it) So yes, after my little TMI outburst, I did actually poop today. Kind of surprising, as nothing solid has passed through my lips since Wednesday afternoon, but it did make me feel (briefly) better.

I have been feeling pretty crappy the last few days. My stomach keeps feeling better, I can actually get in and out of bed/chairs now...but my back is still killing me. I don't know if I am standing/sitting funny to compensate for the incisions, but it's just getting worse. I can't tell if I am hungry or nauseous half the time, but I likened it to how you feel after puking out a hangover. You're not sick anymore, and you know your system is empty and needs something to be put into it, but you're afraid to. Combine that with the fact that I am so so so sick of soup and protein shakes...I've barely been having anything. I feel like if I could just have some scrambled eggs, I would feel so much better. But I am being good, and not advancing myself to mushies.

I also think I am having an allergic reaction to the steri-strips. The skin around the incisions has been red, swollen and irritated for the last day or 2, and all of a sudden tonight, a blister about the size of a dime came up at the end of one of the strips. Of course I hopped on Google, and see that it's most likely an allergic reaction, and a common one. I am going to try to get in to see the surgeon tomorrow if possible...we'll see, since I haven't been successful in scheduling my follow up yet and I've been trying since Friday.

I am due to go back to work on Wednesday - but I don't think that's going to happen. I worked from home today, and got tired after 3 hours and had to go take a nap. All from answering a bunch of emails! I can' even imagine what an hour and a half commute each way, and having to actually talk to people will do to me.

On the weight loss front, I am continuing to lose every day (even though I am only counting WI's from Thursdays). This morning I was down to 262, which is 13 since the start of pre-op and 6 since surgery. I know this is only because I am barely consuming any calories (typical day so far has been 2 CIB, maybe a cup of broth or 5-6 bites of soup), but at least while I am feeling crappy it's nice to see.

Sorry to be so whiny - but it's just how I'm feeling today. Hopefully I'll get out of my funk soon!

Looks like all of the BOOBS had a fantastic weekend! Wish I could have been there but that would have been awkward 1 day post op :) I will definitely be joining the next time!

A Few More Things from Surgery...

that I forgot to mention.

*I did have a hiatal hernia, so Dr. K put 3 sutures in to repair it. She said I may have a little extra discomfort than I would from the band alone, but it shouldn't be too bad.

*She gave me the Lap Band APS band, and she said it's usually primed with about 3cc to start.

*So far today, I have had a CIB, and a few spoonfuls of tomato soup. I have been sipping on water all day, but have only gotten down about 8oz so far.

I emailed my boss this morning, to let her know that the surgery went well, and she wrote back and asked for my address. I can only assume to send me flowers, which lemme tell ya, is a shock and a half. She hasn't gotten me a single thing for any holiday since I started working for her (a year and a half ago!), and didn't even acknowledge Admin Professional's day! This is definitely not the culture of my company, so I will be very (pleasantly) surprised if flowers do indeed show up.

I'm off to go sip some more water!

Surgery Day!

The day I thought would never get here.....finally got here yesterday! I have to say, even up until the very end, I wasn't nervous at all. Questioning my sanity, yes...but nervous no.

The hospital called on Wednesday night to let me know what time my arrival was, and they said 10am. OK cool...hopefully that means an earlier surgery, and I can get the hell home! (I was all paranoid that since Nicole had to stay overnight, there was a chance I'd have to as well). I packed a bag with some pj's and toiletries just in case.

My mom and I left the house at 8:30 (without traffic, it's a 25 minute or so drive to the hospital - but as I mentioned we were afraid of UN General Assembly traffic along the way). We ended up......hitting no traffic. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nada. Pulled into the garage at 9:00am. An hour early. Ugh.

My mom and I went and checked in, and then...........sat. And waited. And paced. Finally at around noon (after THREE HOURS of no one telling us when I would be taken), Dr. Kurian came out to say hi, and said that she wasn't sure why on earth they told me to be there so early, because my actual surgery wasn't scheduled until 1:30!!! AND they were running behind after a surgery had gone long that morning, so we were now looking at 2:30. Kill me.

I finally got into a prep room at around 1 or so, and then things seemed to move a little more quickly. Lots of different doctors and nurses came to talk to me, I changed into my lovely gown and slipper socks. Then it was time. I walked myself into the OR (not a fan), and climbed onto the table. They started my IV, got me connected to all of the monitors, and then draped me with the warm blankets. Then the anesthesiologist told me they were going to give me something to relax me before they put me out. He also commented that I was one of the most relaxed people he'd seen in a while, but they'd give me the relaxer drug anyway. Then they put the mask over my face and I got sleepy so they said "Go ahead and close your eyes...", and I said "OK", and remember nothing else until waking in recovery.

Here's the not as fun part - my back hurt something TERRIBLE in recovery. The beds they give you are just awful, and I kept shifting, trying to find a comfy position, but I couldn't. My mom came in briefly, but they asked her to come back in an hour and let me rest. For some reason, I thought when I went up to my room, I'd have a different bed, so I was asking to go up there as soon as I could. In my fog, I was very irrationally upset with my nurse, who asked if I wanted her to rub my back, then she got called away to take over another patient, so I never got my back rub lol.

I finally got upstairs, and asked for my mom - turns out no one had told her I was going upstairs and she went back into recovery to try to find m but oops! I was gone. I also asked for some kind of painkiller, because I was in agony (all back still, not really incisions). I decided to get out of bed and try to walk, since laying down was clearly not going to work. They got those awful booties off of me (maybe mine were too big? I didn't feel any nice massaging sensations, they just made me hot). I shuffled with my IV pole a few steps into the hallways and realized I was not quite ready to walk, so I went and sat in some chairs near my room. My mom found me very shortly after that, and we sat for a while. I of course cried. I think she may have too, lol. After a little while of sucking on my ice chips, I decided to take a walk, so we did 2 laps around the floor then I got back into bed. The nurse FINALLY gave me some morphine about an hour after I asked, and it did nothing but take the edge off...I was still in quite a bit of pain.

I did a few more laps, taking breaks in between them sitting in the chairs (I was kind of done with my bed....I just wanted my own damn bed), when a doctor came to find me. He said the magic words "Wanna blow this popsicle stand?" and I said "YES!!!!!!" All I had to do was pee, which I happily did (I had been sneaking sips of the water that my ice chips were melting into). After about another hour, we FINALLY were able to leave. I took some Vicodin before we did, so it would kick in by the time we got home, and then had a bit of broth when I got home.

I chatted with my sister for a while, and decided to stay awake until my next dose of happy juice at 1:15. We decided to go for a walk, and actually walked pretty far (around the block once, then maybe about 6 blocks and back in a different direction). It felt good to not act like an invalid so I am trying really hard not to. She has a bad back, so she said the walked helped her too. We just kept it to a nice stroll, and got back right before I was due for more meds.

I went to bed after that, after arranging a fortress of pillows on my bed. Slept pretty well, and set my alarm for more drugs at 5. I've been up wandering around on and off...but think I am going to take a nap. So far, I've been siping on water, and had half of a protein shake (Carnation Instant Breakfast, powder not ready made). I could have had more, but I didn't really want it, so I put the rest in the fridge for later.

Hope this post is helpful to anyone going in soon! I tried to be as detailed as I could. Me sleepy now.

In approximately 12 hours...I'll be banded!

Got the call at around 6:30 or so from NYU - arrival time is 10am. Oh boy, right smack in the middle of the rush hour. My mom and I are leaving The Bronx at 7:30 (without traffic, it would normally take around 25 minutes) and hope that it isn't too too bad.

I've had my last protein shake, packed my bag (just in case I end up having to stay overnight, which I sincerely hope is not the case), and am already to go. Now where's Michael J Fox with that damn time machine???

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...I love ya, Tomorrow!

I can't believe my surgery is finally tomorrow!!! I also can't believe I made it though the pre-op diet without one of the cats being eaten :)

I'm super excited and impatient, but strangely enough not nervous at all. Unfortunately, my hospital is pretty close to the UN, and for those of you not in NY, traffic is a disaster all over the city this week, as the UN is in session. I am used to dealing with this, as I only work a block from the UN, but it could be a pain in the ass tomorrow morning when my mom and I are trying to drive to the hospital. Hoping they schedule me for an early surgery so we can try to beat the traffic (and then I get to go home and get into my own bed that much earlier!)

So, weird question re: full liquids vs mushies. My surgeon has us do 10 days full liquids, and then 10 days mushies. Their definition of "liquid" is, if it can be consumed thru a straw, it's a liquid. This isn't a problem with soups, etc...but wouldn't this count Jell-o out? Does this mean no yogurt for 10 days? No string cheese? Sigh.

I am going to hit up Cosi and buy some of their yummy nummy tomato soup to have for the weekend, when I will hopefully be up to eating again...and then hit GNC up for some Isopure. Any specific recommendations in that area? I've never bought any sort of protein before...we have a couple of kinds of whey at my house for my dad, but he doesn't exactly endorse them!

Also a quick shout out to Lynne (http://girlbanded.blogspot.com), who is having her surgery today! See you on the other side, lady!

Made It thru Week 1, and my First BYOC!!!

Whew. Week one of pre-op diet was rough rough rough. A lot of people said by Day 3, they weren't as hungry....this was not the case for me. I thought it would never go away! But thankfully by Day 8 (yesterday), I found I actually wasn't that hungry and even ended up skipping a shake. Hard to believe I only have 6 days 'til the day of surgery! Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous, and I have to say - no!!!! Impatient and excited, but nervous, no. I did lose almost 5 lbs already on pre-op, even with TOM making an appearance today, and with my little cheats, so I am hoping to get down a few more before Thursday, which is the big day.

I am almost caught up on everyone's blogs, and do apologize for how long it's taken me to follow some of you back! If I am not following you back yet - please leave a comment with your blog link! I couldn't find some people's actual blogs. However, I did get a new toy this week, a brandy new MacBook Pro (I am a total Apple geek) which I want to spend lots of time playing with, so I will probably be online a lot more in the next few weeks! Plus I love typing on the keyboard (much bigger than my old Macbook) so you'll be getting lots of blogs from me, I am sure.

Onto my first BYOC! How exciting!

1. Last week we asked your favorite thing about being an adult. This week the question is: what is one thing you miss about being a child?

Definitely summers off! Even though things do slow down for me at work during the summer, what with people going on vacations, etc - I still have to wake up early, which is NOT something I am a fan of.

2. When you make a serious life decision – do you use your head or your heart?

Always my heart (which may or may not have the best results)...and then I use my head to figure out how the hell I am going to make it happen. I am known in my circle of friends for making insane decisions, and then somehow always pulling it off, so I guess I have a pretty good system going!

3. In relation to blogs….are you a never commenter, a sometimes commenter, an almost always commenter or a direct emailer kinda person?

Can I add a new category in between sometimes and almost always, called usually? I try to comment a decent amount of the time, but sometimes I don't have anything to really offer, and I don't want to be trite.

4. If life was a flavor – would it be savory, sweet or sour?

Savory. Served with grilled onions, lol.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in life or in blogland.

My week - well, as I said above, just been trying to get through pre-op. Working my last shifts at the night job for a few weeks, and trying to get everything done at day job. I also applied for a new position at day job, which is a level up in both title and salary, so I am crossing my fingers that something happens there!

My First Blog Award and Day 7

I was nominated for my first blog award! I am all veklempt :)


1. Answer the question: If you had one chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?

I don't think I would change anything. Even the mistakes I've made have either led to learning experiences, or led me towards things in my life that I now hold precious. Oh, I know what I would change - I would change not winning the MegaMillions the last time I played (sucker was at like $220 million!!!)

2. Pick 6 people and give them this award. You then have to inform the person that they have been selected for the award.

Stephanie (http://dreamsofskinnyhighheels.blogspot.com) for welcoming me so warmly into this little blogging community.

Nicole (http://bigfatbandjourney.blogspot.com) for being my NYU bandster buddy - she had her surgery on Monday, and I am hoping it all went well!

Sarah (http://losingweightgainingtons.blogspot.com) for being a HUGE inspiration (shhh, don't tell anyone, but I want to run too!!!)

Amy (http://cheeseandsunkist.blogspot.com) for being the bandster that everyone wants to be!

Colls (http://colls-thistimeimeanit.blogspot.com) for being a fellow NYC area bandster and having kick ass red hair!

Yana (http://girlmeetsband.blogspot.com) for being the first bandster blog I found, which led me to all of you!

3. You have to thank the person (people) who gave you the award.

Thanks so much to The Banded Lady (http://thebandedlady.blogspot.com)! I am a newbie around here, and am just beginning to get involved in this wonderful "family". I never imagined how much support I'd receive from this group. Woo!


I have made it to Day 7 of pre-op. It's getting slightly better, after the modifications I made. Last night, I went shopping to buy some things for my new apartment that I'll be moving into in November. After finishing off the bathroom shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond (easily my fave store), and I headed down to Target to return some stuff and pick up a few other things. I was starving, and made the decision to cheat. The "cafe" was closed by the time I checked out, which I decided to take as a sign. Driving home (about 10 minutes or so) I waged a war with my own brain on whether or not I was going to stop somewhere and get something. I admitted to myself that I wasn't actually hungry, just tired, cranky and way over this diet. Somehow, rational brain won over cranky emotion, and I went home, had a jello and my final shake of the night, then went to bed.

I had my first esophagram this morning - wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be. Over pretty quickly too. I think I am all set for surgery, just need the day to actually get here now!!!

Day 5 - Making Some Changes

Wow, I can't believe I am already at day 5 of this God-awful pre-op diet. I think I read on someone's else's blog this weekend (from back when they were doing the diet) - that they bitterly regretted ever saying that they couldn't wait until they were doing the 2 week, all liquids diet. I hear ya, sister. I said it many times leading up to this and I will never say it again!

With that said - I totally lied when i said I wasn't going to cheat any more. LIED. Some were very minor, one was a total freakout. No need to go into details, but suffice it to say, that I have not been bale to stick to the surgeon's orders on any single day of this so far!!! So I decided, in order to avoid another major meltdown that involves Golden Arches - a few tweaks need to be made.

With that admission out of the way, I am going to swap one of the shakes (Carnation IB in my case, so I am allowed 6) for a Greek yogurt. It's the same calories, a scootch less fat, a teensy bit more protein, and keeps me feeling full MUCH longer. I am also going to double my veggie allowance to 4 cups a day (dr said 2, but I don't see how eating more steamed non-starchy veggies could hurt). Then I'll allow myself a string cheese sometime during the day, and a slice of this really great vermont cheddar at night (pre-sliced so no wiggle room in serving size). I am cutting out the broth, because all it does is slosh around in my tummy and make me hungrier. I'm going to up the water a bit (altho it's pretty high already - a typical day is 3 liters). Hopefully these minor changes will be enough to keep me on the (mostly) straight and (sort of) narrow. I'd rather plan in a little less rigidity, then freak out, and go to McD's for 8 chicken McNuggets and a double cheeseburger (errr, not that that happened....)

I can officially say that my surgery is next week now. Can't wait! It means I need to get a little more organized at work, so I don't leave anything hanging for the colleague who will be covering for me in my absence.

One teeny request - everyone send good luck vibes to Nicole over at A Little Bit Less of Me, she is having her surgery today! Yay Nicole! Can't wait 'til I get to join you in the club, and sending you big virtual (but gentle) hugs!!!

Day 2 of Pre-Op Diet

Whew. Made it through Day 1, sort of. I have to confess to you lovely ladies - I cheated. Just a little bit, and I felt so guilty about it afterwards that I don't think I'll be doing that again.

So I had my 6 shakes, plus 2 Jell-Os, a cup of broth, and about 2 cups of steamed broccoli and cauliflower (actually really good with a squeeze of lemon juice and some garlic pepper salt - that may have been because I was so hungry tho!) Then I got home from work (had night job last night), after successfully avoiding ALLL of the food that was in front of me, that I was serving, that my co-workers were eating, etc, and I snapped a little. The other night before the pre-op started, my dad made pot roast (nom nom nom), and I made a Brie-en-croute appetizer (basically Brie smothered in caramelized onions and apples, wrapped in puff pastry and baked), which we served with homemade crostini (sliced baguette brushed on both sides with EVOO, and seasoned with salt and pepper). Some of the crostini were left over, and were sitting in a baggie on the counter.

So when I went to take out the garbage, I brought 2 with me, and ate them in our front yard. Oh my God did they taste good. Then I realized that I had essentially snuck out of the house to eat something. So I came back inside, and something in my brain thought it would be a good idea to eat one of the fudge covered graham crackers in the freezer for my dad. After that, I went and locked myself inside my room and forced myself to fall asleep.

WHEW. OK. That's over with. I feel so guilty about "cheating" on my first day of the pre-op, that I am going to kill myself to stay on the rest of this diet. 1 day down, 13 to go (and today is half over). 1 shake in for the day, 5 more to go. Thank God I don't have to work tonight.

On the bright side, I was down 2.2 lbs this morning! If this keeps up (and I will be ok with it if not), it'll give me a nice head start to get through Bandster Hell with.

Thanks for all of the supportive comments yesterday - I truly think the people here are successful because of the community, and I am honored and grateful to be allowed into your circle :) I don't really know you that well yet, but I kinda think I love every one of you!

And So It Begins...

I started my pre-op diet this morning. Oh joy. 14 days of 6 shakes (I am using Carnation Instant Breakfast powder mixed with 1% milk - which is something I love in "real" life...we'll see how I feel about it in a few weeks!), sugar free jello, sugar free popsicles, and 2 cups of steamed (aka boring) veggies a day. I am one shake and one .5L bottle of water in for the day (my company is very nice and provides us free bottled water, so it makes it very easy for me to track....I just count the empties on my desk at the end fo the day!) So far, not hungry, and I am only a half hour or so away from shake #2.

I also finally added in a ticker, and stats, etc. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am kinda OCD, so I wanted to wait until today to post exact start weight, etc. Today's weight is what I will be using from here on out.

I go for my pre-surgical testing tomorrow, and then my esophagram next Wednesday. Not really looking forward to either one, but at least the testing tomorrow keeps me out of the house a few extra hours (more on this in the next paragraph). I can't believe that 2 weeks from today, I am finally going to be banded! I am so excited, and I am not going to lie - the time off work will be reeeeeeally nice as well! I have a "boring" day job, at a pharma company in NYC, and then I work a few nights a week as a waitress in a comedy club. I'll be out of the day job for almost a week (having surgery on Thursday, will come back to work the next Wednesday). I get a whole month off of the night job!

So, back to being out of the house for a few hours - right now, my parents' house is a dieting minefield. As I mentioned way back when, my father is currently battling gastro-esophageal cancer. The tumor is right at the bottom of his esophagus, which makes it very difficult for him to eat. He's lost approximately 130 lbs since November or so. Because of this, there are lots and lots of high calorie treats in the house to try to tempt him (at this point, empty calories still count as calories for him, since we want him to GAIN weight). This should be fun...

I will leave you with a pic from last Saturday night of me and my friend M (we have been friends since we were 16) at S's show. The girls are trying to escape a little, but I felt damn good that night...a little less so upon seeing this pic. Sigh.

Thank You!

Just a quickie here - wanted to say hello to my 31 (!!!) followers - thanks Stephanie! If I am not following you yet, it's because I want to do this right and read your entire blog before clicking the follow button (can you say OCD?!) This way, when your posts pop up in my list, I can read them right away :)

I am getting there - life's been a bit hectic between moving out of my apt and back into the parents' house, getting settled in here, still working both jobs, and oh yeah, this one was fun, a quickie trip to LA.

I took some before pics today, and went for the gusto. I stripped down to bra and underwear. NOT PRETTY. I'll get the nerve to post those in a few days, along with some starting stats. Pre-op liquids start on Thursday! I have less than 23 hours to eat "regular" food for quite some time. Wowsers.

All Packed and Ready to Go!

So I finally tore myself away from all of your amazing blogs for long enough to finish packing last night. It will probably take me a few days to get settled/organized at my parents' house (especially since I won't have a bedroom for 2 months!), but I just wanted to say a quick "HI!!!" to all of my new followers! I promise I am going to catch up on all of your blogs and come say hello!

And maybe if I get up the nerve, I will have my mom take some "befores" to post. I did mean to take a pic on Saturday night, but got distracted :)

My First Follower, Cute Dress and Moving!

Woo, I have my first follower! Hi, Nicole! I wasn't able to find a blog for you, but if you have one please leave a comment with a link, and I will definitely reciprocate :) I've also been finding more and more blogs to follow and have even been saying hi!

Last night one of my best guy friends, S, played a show with his cover band, and since I haven't been able to see him play for a long time due to never being able to get off work, I just said "frig it" and took the night off (I very rarely take a Saturday night off unless I am going to be away). So glad I did, it was a lot of fun to see all of my friends, and just have fun. Oh, and since I mentioned it in the title of this post, I wore a super cute dress from Old Navy (not on the site anymore, otherwise I would have posted a pic). It has a pretty deep V (I am a fan of tops/dresses that show off the girls - at the moment they're my best physical feature!), and it's just the right length (mid thigh or so, not too short that I think I am going to flash people, but short enough to feel sexy). I felt like I was looking super hot, and actually got quite a bit of attention from guys at the bar. Mind you, I'm kind of in the middle of a dating embargo, but it's nice to flirt.

I'm moving tomorrow, to my parents' house for 2 months, which should be interesting. My new lease starts 11/1 (yes, I got the apartment, and sign my lease this Thursday!), so at least it's definitely finite, but still going to be a challenge. I live in Manhattan, so it's super easy to get around. My parents live in the Bronx, which is still in NYC, but the neighborhood they live in is not really convenient to public transportation. Since it doesn't make sense to get a car for 2 months, I'm going to have to beg/borrow usage of cars, and/or rides to the train. I'm mostly packed, but being very procrastinate-y on finishing it up. If I could just step away from the computer for about 2 hours...and FOCUS...I would get it done. But it's just so tempting to keep reading blogs :)

Approved!

So I guess when I said I hope it's not a month before I write again, i was either being psychic, or just know myself pretty well :)

Honestly, since I submitted all of my paperwork to the surgical coordinator, I haven't done much thinking (ok fine, obsessing) over the surgery. I did have my call with my case manager at the insurance co. a few weeks ago and she said she saw no problems, and there've been a few emails back and forth with the surgeon's office to set up pre-op, etc...but that's it. Until today!

My cell phone rang midday, and I saw it was from the hospital, so I picked up and it was the surgical coordinator and she said, "Good news, YOU'RE APPROVED!" I almost got a little teary.

At no point did I NOT think I was going to be approved, but I have been super stressed lately between trying to move, waiting to hear about this, working 2 jobs, etc etc etc. This is a huge relief. I've spent a year or so actively pursuing this, from when I first tried to attend a seminar last September.

Ironically, after changing my original surgery date because of moving, I am now going to be moving a month after surgery anyway. I wasn't able to find an apartment I liked for 9/1, and refuse to settle for something I don't love, so I am going to go stay with my parents in the Bronx for 2 months (which makes my mom happy, she was nervous about me being alone after surgery). It'll be a little chaotic, and kind of inconvenient, but hopefully worth it. I just put in an application for a beautiful apartment that I want with every fiber of my being for 11/1, so hopefully that turns into good news as well.

I'm finally going to start following some of the inspiring people I've seen around here, and will make sure to start saying hi on your blogs!

Blog Fail....and some updates.

So I have been doing a bang up job blogging, huh? In my defense, I have had a busy couple of weeks, working lots of double shifts to save money to move (cannot WAIT), and have been dealing with some logistical issues with getting my surgery scheduled.

When I last wrote, I had just had all of my appointments with the surgeon's office, and was all excited about scheduling my surgery for July 29th. I had some trouble getting what I thought were the necessary documents from my PCP's office, and knew there was no way I was going to be able to get everything submitted in time to make that surgery date.

I also had a conversation with my best friend, who has also had the surgery, and she brought up a really good point that it might not be the best idea to move a month after surgery. Her exact quote was "You could split your incision open, and then your guts would be flopping around!" While the conversation was laughing, she did make a good point, and I decided that between the PCP issues, and moving, it might be better to move it to September anyway.

I also finally got in touch with someone from insurance company, who went through my plan's specific requirements with me, and I don't think I'll have any trouble being approved. For my plan, I just need to be over 18 (check), BMI of >35 and 1 co-morbidity OR BMI of >40 (check), completed the 6 month supervised diet (check), and the psychologist evaluation (check). I spoke with the surgical coordinator, and passed on all of that information, so we went ahead and scheduled my surgery for September 23rd! Eeee!

I'm pretty excited, but there is so much to do beforehand. As I mentioned, I am moving in September, so I am working like a crazy person at my 2nd job to try to save the extra $$ I'll need, plus there's the stress of finding an apartment. Between that, my day job, spending time with my parents (especially my dad, who is undergoing treatment for gastro-esophageal cancer right now, I am sure I'll write more about that in future posts), and finding time for well, life...let's just say there's a lot going on!

I'm also going to try to go on a pre-surgery diet. I don't want to rely solely on the band to lose weight, and I am definitely going to have to change my habits afterwards anyway, so I want to make a start. I'd also like to start going to the gym at work. It's such a waste that I have it in my building, and I pay for it every week, but never go.

So that's my update. Hopefully it won't be almost a month again before I write again.

Here We Go...

So, here we go again. Another weight loss attempt...even another blog (hopefully this will be one that I will keep up with).

After years and years of self dieting, WW, and whatever other random things I've tried to lose weight...I finally decided to take the plunge and have gastric lap banding surgery. I know it's not a quickie solution, nor is it going to be easy...but I am ready.

Yesterday I met with everyone at my surgeon's office, for my final set of appointments before scheduling my surgery. I've been meeting with Dr. S since January to fulfill the 6 month supervised diet requirement from my insurance company, and I met with Frank and Dr. K for the first time. Looks like we are going to be all set to go for July 29th, which is my preferred surgery date, as long as I can get some final documents from my primary care doctor for the insurance package. My mom came with me to these appts, which was the first time she'd done so, which I think helped ease her mind a little. She's been worried about the surgery, especially with everything else going on in our lives (more on that in a future post). I think coming with me helped allay her fears, which is nice.

So my official pre-surgery weight is 271. Ech. I am not sure what my final goal is...I'm 5'8", and do carry my weight pretty well...so I guess my first goal is to just get through the surgery!!! After that, I've come up with some mini goals (250, first 10% (244), second 10% (224), 50# (221), 199, third 10% (198), etc...) I am not attaching any kinds of timelines to these goals, because I don't want to be discouraged if I don't meet them by the time I've specified.

So there we go. My first blog entry. Hopefully first of many!

I am heading to my parents' house after work tonight to spend the 4th with them, lounging by the pool and eating lots of barbequed goodies...perhaps I shouldn't mention that on my weight loss blog, but it IS part of life, after all ;-)...Hopefully I'll get the nerve to take some "before" photos, maybe in my bathing suit, so I can get a good documentation of my progress.

Thanks for reading, and I'll post more soon!