234.6...

Another full pound down since last Thursday, for a total of 4. Thank you, thank you, thank you...oh great .25cc. I am back under 235, which was a goal that was hard won. I saw under 230 once, but that was an artificial low (I had barely eaten in days bc I was so tight). The next time I see it, it'll be real. And I think it'll be soon.

Lookie Lookie!

You know who was here :)

I have a pretty blog!!!! I am so happy. I love Jenny. I am going to actually make a concerted effort to take pics more often and post them...I took a few pics for the blog but they didn't work out, so I thought I would put them into an entry, so you can see my face!





I'm goofy. Anyway.

This morning, weight was down to 235.6...so down 3 since Thursday. Yessssss! So far this fill is doing really well. I'm definitely not hungry, but am not overly tight, so I can eat high quality stuff. Today I had a chai from Sbux, a peach Chobani, about an ounce and a half of aged asiago cheese, 2 meatloaf muffins w gravy, and a cup of protein pudding. Not sure what my protein count is up to, but I may drink half of an Isopure later on, or a small protein shake.

I was supposed to do Bikram tonight, but the class was full, so I couldn't go :( I am going to go on Saturday to the first timer's class, though. They really recommended it, and said I wouldn't have any trouble getting in. I am pretty proud of myself for even attempting to go, though. That's the biggest step, IMO!

Total side note...I am thinking about cutting my hair. Maybe to just below my shoulders, and keeping the bangs. Any thoughts or ideas?

Progress!!!

Quickie check-in...

So Thursday's weight was 238.6, as I posted....I got a small fill on Friday (.25cc, bringing me back to 7.5cc total)...since then I have been doing a modified pouch test (aka, actually following protocol of 2 days liquids, 2 days mushies - side note...does cheese count as a mushy??? haha). As of this morning, I am down to 237. Small drop, but it's the right direction!!!

I also upped my protein significantly. Yesterday (a liquids day), I was well over 100, and today I came close to that as well. I finally tried the Isopure drinks a few weeks ago (40g), and drank one of those, plus a Pure Protein canned shake (35g), and a few other different shakes during the day. I also made a batch of SF/FF pudding and tossed a scoop of protein powder in, it was pretty good, and boosted the value to 9g per half cup. There was a slight grainy mouthfeel after it had chilled...but I guess I can deal with that...I'll just have to eat it right away ;-)

Hope everyone out there in blog land had a nice weekend.

238.6....really?!

I didn't blog last week about my weekly weigh in because it was so damn depressing. 237.2 this week, and somehow this week, up to 238.6!!! Wtf! My eating has been all over the place. I know I can eat too too much, but I am trying to be mindful of what/how much. That is clearly not working. Thank God I get a fill tomorrow. This whole "scale going in the WRONG damn direction" thing is not working for me, at all. I also decided for real to do the pouch test after this fill....I wanted to do it last time and my social life got in the way *rolls eyes* I was supposed to go out on Sunday night but have decided to skip to do the right thing for my weight loss. (The right thing for my budget as well, I suppose).

I did make a date for next Tuesday with a friend to finally go to the Bikram studio I bought a 1 month pass for a few weeks ago. I am absolutely terrified. Scared out of my mind. She has assured me that it won't be nearly as bad as I am expecting. I don't believe her.

Other than that...life is just chugging along. Day job is going well, and keeping me busy. Night job has been busy, and I've been working a lot (probably too much). That might be contributing to my weird eating habits...I maintain a strange schedule at best. At worst, it's positively f'ed. I think...*gulp*...it might be time to start journaling. Crap.

Final Spring Challenge Weight =

239!!!!! I think I am going to skip the next few challenges...of the 2 I have participated in, I've either lost very little or GAINED. Ugh. (Not blaming the challenges...I just work late on Sat night and it's hard to stop drinking water early in the night, and not have a snack when I get home). Like I said in my last post...I am seriously stuck, and not in the bandster sort of way. Maybe if there's a challenge with a Monday morning weigh in...Sundays are just not good for me.

I finally bought the Isopure drinks. I like the grape better than the fruit punch, but think once I water them down, they'll be ok. I also tried a new brand of shake, Orgain (I only tried the chocolate). All of this stuff is super expensive (cheaper if I order in bulk from Amazon), but I need to boost my protein without boosting calories significantly.

I've got to snap out of my "meh" ness. I've been slacking in almost every area of my life, except work. I haven't been getting enough water. I haven't been taking my vitamins or my Synthroid. My apartment is tidy enough...but could be cleaner. All I feel like doing is sitting on my couch frowning that Food Network is showing the same thing I've seen 3 times today already.

Ironically, I've been kicking ass at work. I've been adjusting really well into my new role, and my new group. My manager is really interested in working with me on development, and I am hopeful that there is room for growth somewhere down the line. At the night job, I've been working all of my shifts, and trying to be smart with that income. I've committed myself to paying off all of my credit card debt by June 2011, along with a few other big-ish ticket items by September (my cruise, which will be uber expensive, finishing decorating my apartment, a shorter trip to LA, and of course BOOBS!). I decided I want to buy an apartment in a few years, so there's some serious groundwork to be laid.

Can one of the local NYC bandsters come give me a big kick in the ass!!!

I'm in a funk...

I haven't blogged this week, nor have I commented too much because I'm in a funk (been reading faithfully as always, tho!) I am feeling all blah. It's definitely affecting my eating/loss (what a shocker..) I weighed 236.4 yesterday and was so bummed about it, I didn't blog, or update my ticker...(I will do that after I post this). I've been going back and forth between 232 and 236 for about 2 months now. Most of the blame for that lies with me...I am definitely eating too much, and too much of THAT is bad stuff. I'm also not doing ANY exercise.

I just can't seem to find motivation. I look in the mirror, and while I'm happy with the progress I've made, I see how far I have to go. You'd think that would do it...but nope. I still don't get off my butt to go to the gym at work...or to activate my unlimited month of Bikram...or do anything active, really. Part of it is lack of free time (working 2 jobs leaves me precious little of that), but that's not an excuse. Plenty of people have busy lives, and manage to include exercise. That just tells me that they WANT it, so they make it happen. How do I make myself want it?

I have an appt for another fill on the 29th, which I think might help with the eating a bit. I don't want to be so tight that I can't eat anything, but I feel like I can eat anything these days. I know the onus is on me to really pay attention to whether or not I'm actually hungry, and to not eat if I'm not...so I need to do better with that too. I also want to ask Dr K about my port...it has been feeling super sore lately.

My cruise leaves 5 months from tomorrow. I had visions of being either at goal, or at least 100 lbs down by then. That's clearly not going to happen, unless I lose a leg or something :) Here's just hoping I have made a bit more progress by then, since I'll hit my one year bandiversary on the cruise (specifically in Marseilles, I think!)

Any care to share what motivates you when you hit a slump?? I need some help here.

Back in the Right Direction!!!

Been a busy week for me, so I haven't had much time to blog. (OK, I've actually just been super lazy...!)

This morning's weight was 232.8, so it's a relief to see the scale moving in the right direction again. Still have a couple of pounds to get rid of before being back to my lowest low, but I am confident that I can get there soon.

I had an appt with Dr. K yesterday, and she said my port is a little flipped, and that since it's close to my rib cage, as I've lost weight it's shifted a little. As long as there are no further issues accessing it, then she doesn't see any problems, but I guess it's something we'll monitor. Since I had lost 2 lbs since my tweak last week, we didn't do a fill yesterday and will re-visit at my appt at the end of the month.

I didn't really think I needed a fill, and actually only went to the appt becuase I forgot about it until my Outlook reminded me about 20 minutes beforehand! I thought it would be rude to cancel on such short notice, so off I went.

I still haven't started Bikram. I was starting to think I bit off more than I could chew, but a friend who goes to the same studio offered to come with me for my first time. We're working on scheduling that (my life is basically a scheduling NIGHTMARE). So hopefully in the next few weeks we'll go, and I'll get my azz moving again. I did take the step of calling the gym here at work and requesting their class schedule (I know, such a huge step, right... *rolls eyes*) I have dutifully pinned it to my bulletin board, so now it's a question of getting my butt over to the building it's in across the street and GOING.

I guess that's all for me. I'm boring this week. Maybe something exciting will happen over the weekend for me to blog about!!! LOL. Hope everyone is having a great week!